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Newspaper Headlines

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Newspaper Headlines

Post by Asynjur on Sat Oct 24, 2009 7:08 pm

How about some humor? Some of these were probably real headlines from some time or another, others might be fake. Doesn't matter, they're hilarious!

1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years
22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by niquae on Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:28 pm

Lol. Where'd you find these?
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by betzy809 on Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:13 am

lol im soooo going to spread that around schoolX3
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by Asynjur on Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:42 am

niquae wrote:Lol. Where'd you find these?

They've been going around for years. I happened to stumble on to them while looking for something else at Snopes urban legends site - http://www.snopes.com/humor/nonsense/head97.asp
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by momtomaeghan on Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:03 am

Very funny! Laughing
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by Daeninn on Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:07 am

Laughing Those are just too funny!! My favorite is "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead " Laughing I am still laughing after 10 min since i read it XD

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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by smuggley on Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:07 pm

They are so cool. A good laugh after just waking up is perfect medicine for starting the day Very Happy thanks

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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by Asynjur on Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:32 pm

If you liked those, you should read this article on the subject of goofy headlines.

bit.ly 3ngYZ2

Not only does it have some interesting commentary, but it's peppered with more examples of hilarious headlines, like "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim" (actually part of a book title on the topic). cyclops
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by pandas07 on Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:54 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
lol, these are so funny. Laughing
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by KittyJuan on Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:53 am

lol! Ha ha ha!

Punny, punny, punny!
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by stooooooph on Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:46 pm

haha!!! Smile
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by niquae on Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:52 pm

Asynjur wrote:but it's peppered with more examples of hilarious headlines, like "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim" (actually part of a book title on the topic). cyclops

ROFL. Do people think about how their titles could be taken before coming up with them?
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by yew on Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:17 am

So funny!!
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

Post by huyendung on Sun Dec 20, 2009 11:33 pm

Daeninn wrote:Laughing Those are just too funny!! My favorite is "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead " Laughing I am still laughing after 10 min since i read it XD

Lol! I love that one too! Hilarious!
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Re: Newspaper Headlines

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